“Essential Guide to Recreating Yourself in Midlife as a Christian Woman”
Journey from Tired to Inspired
HE HAS MADE EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL IN ITS TIME (Ecc 3:11a NIV)
LIFE HAPPENED…AT WORK & HOME…
After earning a degree in Electrical Engineering, I was blessed to get a job doing telecommunications engineering and project management at a great company. I was a top performer, ran large critical projects, and as a result earned financial rewards. But after some years passed, I noticed though I was good at my job, I wasn’t happy. I was drawn more to solving problems related to people and the organization than the technical focus.
Looking back, I knew this deep inside, but pushed it down to keep moving forward. In college I started to sense that my passions were more along the lines of connecting to the heart of people than connecting equipment. But I followed my skills instead of my heart because that’s what I thought was best to save time without a restart and to earn good income.
So to the surprise of many, I changed my career path, pursuing a role in the Training & Organizational Development Department developing and leading training for supervisors. Some people felt it was a waste to switch job types after all that education and experience in engineering. But what mattered was I felt a lot more satisfaction in my work. I still knew it wasn’t the end of my journey to finding my true calling.
In time, severe repetitive motion injury pain made it difficult to do my job, so when the department was outsourcing some of their training, I accepted a lay off package rather than transition to a new role they offered me. I saw it as an opportunity to try to let my arms heal and find a career that really fit who I was and what I felt called to do for others. In the meantime, my husband and I decided to start a family while I was no longer working outside of the home.
A few years after transitioning from a corporate career to a new season as a stay-at-home mom, the Lord revealed my God-given purpose, which I felt led to fulfill by becoming a Life Coach.
Now some people felt that as a Christian mom I should focus only on raising my kids and not a career or separate calling. But because God was speaking to me clearly, I again didn’t let others’ opinions change my focus. I knew I was destined for what was in my heart and wouldn’t be happy unless I pursued it.
While striving to care for my two busy boys, learn to cook when I didn’t like it, be a master of all trades for my household, build my business, serve as a leader and program developer and director in a life purpose and planning ministry, pursue my love of writing and lose the baby weight that clung to my mid-section for dear life, trying to control it ALL left me helpless.
In time, stressful life situations, along with my unrealistic expectations, lack of boundaries and my mindset bouncing between confidence and second guessing myself, left me living out of balance and feeling defeated. Discouraged, I shrank back from my dreams of building my business and women’s ministry, abandoned the joy of my writing, left self-care dwindling, and defaulted to daily just going through the motions of checking off my to-do list.
I loved being there for my family and others, but stopped being there for myself. Where I’d been inspired, I’d gotten tired. Life happened…chronic pain…insomnia…relocations…leaving behind friends…inability to keep up with exercise…parenting and family challenges…stress…overwhelm…discouragement…LOSING MYSELF.
Yet I was still keeping everything “perfectly” held together for the family and household (well…except for piles of laundry, dishes and paper clutter…and home-cooked dinners!). Everyone could count on me…but me. My identity and dreams drifted away.
WHERE I MISSED THE MARK…
- FIRST, I was LIVING DRIVEN by what I thought I was supposed to be and do in my home and work life–hoping God would bless MY plans. “Getting it all done” became my idol, hindering me from being fully present with my Lord, myself and my family, causing stress and overwhelm.
- NEXT, I allowed myself to be tossed to and fro by circumstances and dragged down by my emotions and expectations, leaving me drained of peace, joy and passion, ultimately GIVING UP what God had gifted to me to bring wellness and fulfillment into my life.
- FINALLY, through my struggles I was mostly WALKING ALONE, without much needed spiritual and practical support—which was an easy pit to fall into since we were always moving and I often stayed at home with my sons. And I found that even well-meaning people were often so busy with their own to-do lists or burdened by their own trials that it was a challenge to build deep, intimate relationships to openly share and work on change.
ONLY BY GOD’S GRACE…
Fast forward some years and now I’ve tossed out the habit of just checking my “to-do” list, now choosing “to do” life! I’ve rebuilt my business at God’s pace and in a way that fits who I am and complements my other life goals. With two young adult sons, I’m joining God’s family of women in the empty nest. I’ve reconnected with who I really am, clarified my calling, and am patiently allowing God to lead me in His timing and ways to balance His purposes in all areas of my life. Where I once felt empty, I feel alive with passion as I walk the path of the life’s work God uniquely designed and called me to do.
Less became more when I stopped striving in the flesh and just letting life happen, and instead started trusting God in faith, balancing life authentically based on who I am and His purposes for my life, and replacing my limited and distorted thinking with His truth.
WHAT I LEARNED…
- Instead of living driven by the seeming success of outer results, I LEARNED TO LIVE INSPIRED by finding God’s purposes for my work and life in all areas, walking in His timing and ways.
- Instead of losing sight of who I am and how God uniquely designed me, I LEARNED TO be intentional to balance caring for others and managing responsibilities with making choices to FILL MYSELF with God’s truth and what breathes life into me–using my passions and gifts.
- Instead of isolating with my struggles, I LEARNED TO always seek to WALK WITH OTHERS who were like-minded to support one another through life’s ups and downs.
All of that is easier said than done, and even less easy when done on your own. I’ve traveled a winding path with obstacles and forks in the road FROM a corporate career professional TO a stay-at-home mom TO a work-at-home mom entrepreneur and ministry volunteer and leader TO a stay-at-home mom with a business that I had to slow almost to a halt NOW TO an inspired working mom entrepreneur approaching the empty nest season. I am so thankful that by the grace of God I came out stronger on the other side. And He’s still not finished with me yet.
And God’s grace can pull you through and make things new—and make you new even if some things don’t seem they may change. You can answer the question “What is God’s will for your life?” You can have a full life as a woman of God whether building a career, raising children or in the empty nest! Following God’s plan for you can bring fulfillment–not only in your work, but in all areas of your life.
And NO MATTER who you are or what your past or present holds, YOU MATTER!
God has PURPOSE for you in all areas of your life and a unique CALLING for you to fulfill in His time. God’s WILL for your life now and in the future is extraordinary!
BECOME who you are! FULFILL your calling! LIVE inspired by purpose!
I am a graduate of Coach U, a leading global provider of coach training programs meeting the requirements for accreditation by the International Coach Federation (ICF), and a member of Christian Coaches Network International.
In addition to other education, I’ve completed specialized training earning Certificates in Coaching for Calling/Life Purpose and Cognitive Behavioral Coaching from the Institute for Life Coach Training, and Behavior Change Specialist from the National Academy of Sports Medicine, from which I held a Certified Personal Trainer credential.
As an engineer by degree and a creative by nature, my rare combination of left-brain and right-brain abilities allows me to blend detailed analysis and inspired vision to help my clients dive deep, dream big and take effective action toward God’s vision for their life.
Walk with me to step into God’s extraordinary vision for your life!
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My Gift to You: “Purposeful Living Assessment & Reflections Guide”